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Best Practices In Negotiation: How to Master The Art of Everyday Negotiations

I have to admit that I invest most of my time teaching “big-ticket” negotiations in my seminar, “Best Practices in Negotiation,” which I conduct at colleges and onsite at organizations.

This is only natural because on an intuitive level we believe we have the most at stake when we’re bargaining for cars, homes, better compensation, and on behalf of our employers.

But if you take a closer look at the sheer number of opportunities we have to negotiate, most of them involve transactions that fly under the radar, small exchanges at the supermarket and the local retailers.

For example, recently I tendered two coupons for baby food. These are good incentives, offering one dollar off, each. But there’s a catch, as I found out yesterday when I handed them to an overly scrutinizing clerk.

I had to buy certain quantities not only of that brand but specifically of certain sub-brands, such as organic this or that, or vitamin fortified foods.

Talk about picky! Well, I said to the clerk, “No problem. Let’s just eliminate the baby food from my order, and I’ll come back on another day and get the right items.”

He was a little surprised. I didn’t buckle under to the retail prices, and I wasn’t afraid of losing face by saying, implicitly, “Look, without coupons, these foods aren’t worth your price!”

A few days later, I came back with a different strategy.

(1)   I resolved to forum-shop, which in the law means selecting a court or a judge, if you can, who by dint of history or reputation is sympathetic to your type of cause. In the supermarket, this means standing in a “nice” clerk’s line. You’ll know them when you see them.

(2)   I decided I’d comply with one of two of the manufacturer’s requirements. I would buy the right number of items, but I would only buy what we use, the main brands, and not the exotic sub-brands.

(3)   I tendered the coupons after all of my items were scanned, instead of handing them to the clerk, first. The psychology of this is slightly different, and in my experience clerks are less meticulous in lawyering the fine print if they receive the coupons when the whole order is rung up.

It worked, and the clerk remarked, “Hey, those are great coupons!”

No kidding.

If you want to refine your negotiation skills, use your already better-than-you-know common sense to (1) Forum shop, selecting the best, most sympathetic negotiation counterpart; (2) Use partial compliance with the apparent deal requirements, but sticking to your ultimate preferences on the major points; and (3) Be sensitive to the order in which your introduce deal points, noting that when the horses have left the gate, it’s easier for someone to go with the stampede, instead of declaring a false start.

Can A Single Word Cause People to Cave-In to Your Requests?

We should also become aware of our phrasing of requests when negotiating. Everyday language should be augmented with special insertions. A tiny change here or there can make a world of difference in getting or not getting what you want.

For example, a behavioral experiment was performed in a common situation, when folks are standing in line, waiting to be served. If there’s one thing we resent, it’s when others sneak in ahead of us. If we think that is about to happen, we’ll close ranks, send hostile, “Don’t even think about it!” visual warnings, and expand our body bubbles to the bursting point.

In this study, an experimenter asked if he could cut in line ahead of another person. Approximately one quarter of those that were asked allowed him to do so.

But when he added just one word to his requests permissions skyrocketed to about two-thirds.

And what was that word?

“Because.”

“May I jump in ahead of you because I have to pick up my kids?” is a much more powerful request than saying, “I have to pick up my kids. May I jump in ahead of you?”

“Because” is powerful because it offers a justification, suggesting that a request is reasoned out and reasonable. There’s force and logic behind it, or so we feel, when this little word is used on us.

Try this in your small and big negotiations. It could make a huge difference in getting compliance instead of conflict.

Phrase Your Observations From A Calmer Point of View

My wife and I were buying some stockings for our toddlers and we brought them to the counter to take advantage of a two-for-one sale.

When both pairs were cashiered at the standard price, we balked.

“No, these are not identical pairs,” the clerk chirped.

“But they’re both polka dots, marked the same price, and of the same make,” we rebutted.

“Sorry, but they have to be exactly identical, I mean the polka dots must be the same colors.”

Of course, this was bizarre, but a Zen-calm overtook me, and I decided to change my negotiation approach from contentious to cooperative.

“Gee,” I said slowly and kindly, nearly whispering: “This must be a very difficult distinction for you to explain to customers!”

Rolling her eyes, she confided: “Yes it is! That’s what I told my general manager, and she didn’t get it. Hey, I’ll just give you the two-for-one price, okay?”

“Great!”

This dialogue changed course because I introduced “meta-communication.” Meta-communication is the process of bringing attention to HOW we’re communicating to improve our results.

In this case I empathized with how arduous is must be to justify something that isn’t easily justifiable.

When negotiations become heated, it pays to say: “I’m sensing we’re getting a little emphatic about this and I’m going to lower my voice a little. Now, that’s better!”

It’s almost like bringing in a referee into the middle of the conversation, but that peacekeeper isn’t a third party, it’s you! Suddenly, it’s as if a better, calmer, more congenial voice is introduced, saying we can get beyond this.

Don’t wait until “big ticket” occasions to polish your bargaining skills. Burnish them every day, in every way, and when the really significant transactions come along, you’ll be ready!

About the Author

Dr. Gary S. Goodman is a top telemarketing speaker, sales, customer service, and negotiation consultant, attorney, TV and radio commentator and the best-selling author of 12 books, including REACH OUT & SELL SOMEONE and YOU CAN SELL ANYTHING BY TELEPHONE! He conducts seminars and speaks at convention programs around the world. His new audio program is Nightingale-Conant's "Crystal Clear Communication: How to Explain Anything Clearly in Speech & Writing." His web site is:http://www.customersatisfaction.com and he can be contacted at gary@customersatisfaction.com.

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This entry was posted on Monday, September 22nd, 2008 at 8:42 pm and is filed under Employment Discrimination Lawyers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.